Hope

“For in hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what is seen? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.” (Romans 8:24-25)

“We have this hope, a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters the inner shrine behind the curtain, where Jesus, a forerunner on our behalf, has entered,” (Hebrews 6:19–20)

I’m reminded of the countless Christmas-morning scenes in which all the overfunctioning spouses who’ve taken on the responsibility of Christmas shopping for the whole family—themselves included—claps their hands with delight at the sight of a perfectly-wrapped box among the presents they’d wrapped the night before, exclaiming with anticipation: “Ooh, I hope it’s that new novel I’ve been waiting for!”

When you bought the presents yourself, this can only be play-acting or amnesia.

Hope isn’t hope, after all, if hope has been seen. And yet this means that hope comes with an element of paradox. It is “a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul,” the thing that keeps us steady in the stormy seas of our lives, and yet it is and must remain unseen. The Christian hope—that God has redeemed us and will save us from our own fragility and death, that the end of our lives in this world is not the end of the stories of our lives, that we will one day rise again and see God and one another face to face—will always be for us a kind of certain uncertainty, or maybe an uncertain certainty.

If we somehow really knew that it was true, if we had irrefutable evidence that our hope would be fulfilled, our hope would not be hope. It would be something more like the anticipation of opening a gift you wrapped for yourself. But we do not know: we hope. Our struggles and our doubts and our uncertainties are to be expected, because our hope has not been seen, and it’s an incredible hope.

But anchors are rarely seen, at least by most of us. Unless you are the sailor who threw it overboard, you have no reason to be certain there’s an anchor there at all. It could just be a length of rope, trailing down into the water, leaving you adrift. And yet you trust that the anchor is there. And even better yet, the anchor works, even if you doubt it’s there at all, because its effect is governed by the laws of physics, and not by your belief in the laws of physics.

The hope that anchors your soul is not your hope, after all. It is God’s gift in Christ, who was born as a human being, who plunged down into the depths of our world, experienced every facet of human experience, and tied God to our fate forever. And it’s Christ’s hope for you, not your hope for yourself, that is healing and redeeming and saving you day by day.

May the God of hope fill us with all joy and peace in
believing through the power of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Romans 15:13

Dappled Things

On Monday, my family celebrated the long weekend with a trip to our old end of Cambridge: a visit to a favorite bakery and a few hours’ playing and walking around at Fresh Pond. As we stood at one of the lookout points there, looking across the water, we were treated to one of those sights people pay big money to come and enjoy in New England this time of year: the dappled vista of a forest mid-transformation, with green giving way to red, orange, and gold, not only tree by tree but leaf by leaf.

But the beauty of autumn is a peculiar thing.

The beauty of fall foliage, after all, is both the revelation of the leaf’s true nature and the sign of the leaf’s impending decline and fall. The green color we see most of the year is something of a mask. It comes from the chlorophyll that allows the leaf to convert sunlight and carbon dioxide into energy, As the days grow shorter and cold weather approaches, the tree begins to retreat into itself. The “true color” of each leaf, beneath the uniform green flood of chlorophyll, is revealed. But the more of the leaf’s color appears—the less chlorophyll there is—the less energy the leaf is generating, and the closer it is to death.

And it’s the same with fall. Those of us who loathe the winter (that’s me) cherish every warm and sunny day, knowing it may be the last, such that a single seventy-degree day feels better in October than a week of them in June. It’s the knowledge that the winter is drawing near that makes a fall day’s beauty especially sweet.

In a world in which sweetness and sadness are often mixed together, we go through a thousand variations on this theme. Parts of our lives are peeled away to reveal truths about ourselves we’d never known before. Parts of our lives are made more precious by the knowledge that they are soon coming to an end. Parts of our world are made more beautiful by their very instability, by the fact that the leaf won’t stay a mottled orange-green forever.

Even so, that sadness is never absolute. The death of a leaf is not the death of the tree. This autumn is not the end of time. The seasons of our lives will continue to change. And even at the very moment the leaf falls, when its story seems to be at an end, new life is already being formed within the tree.

So “Glory be to God for dappled things,” as Gerard Manley Hopkins wrote,

… All things counter, original, spare, strange;
Whatever is fickle, freckled (who knows how?)
With swift, slow; sweet, sour; adazzle, dim;
He fathers-forth whose beauty is past change:
Praise him.

Dreams for 2022-23

Dreams are a funny thing. We sometimes use phrases like “dream job” or “dream vacation” or “dream home” to mean the best possible job (vacation, home) you could imagine, the one you’d have in the surreal world of dreams, in which there are no practical limits on our subconscious imaginings. But not all dreams are good. If you asked me what my dream job is and I answered honestly, it would be something like: Most of the time, my “dream job” is that I’m the Rector of St. John’s, and it’s Sunday morning, and I’m in the pulpit, and I look down and realize that not only have I not written a sermon, I don’t even know what the readings were, I’ve forgotten to vest, and I’m wearing sweaty running clothes from earlier in the morning.

Not all dreams, after all, are particularly good. (And stress dreams can be particularly bizarre; I know a forty-something lawyer who still dreams regularly about forgetting his middle-school locker combination.)

As we kick off our “program year” with the return of the choir and children’s formation this Sunday, I’m going to invite you to participate in a little exercise during Coffee Hour. We’ll have a table set up with pens and pencils and index cards, and the question: “What is your dream for the year ahead?” You can write (or draw!) your dream, and then leave it one of a few jars:

  • Dreams for my life or my family
  • Dreams for our building
  • Dreams for our congregation
  • Dreams for our community
  • Dreams for the world

It’s easy in life, and perhaps especially in parish life, to become stuck in the routines of quotidian reality. It’s simpler to focus on technical problems (Who’s arranging flowers for Sunday? Who’s organizing the Fair?) than to wonder about the bigger possibilities. But dreams are surreal. Dreams escape all technical limitations. Dreams allow us to imagine another world, without wondering how to get there.

Maybe your dreams for this year are happy ones, daydreams: reconciliation with an estranged sibling, a bell that rings on Sundays, a new way of serving our neighbors, and end to war. Or maybe they’re stress dreams; maybe nightmares!

In any case, I hope you’ll think about them, and—if you’d like—talk about them with one another. It’s not a task, or a to-do. It’s just a “journey into imagination” (without the airfare to Epcot!)

I hope to see you Sunday, and to hear some of what’s on your minds this year!

Sweet dreams,
Greg

Enriching Our Worship

You might notice a few small changes to our liturgy in a couple weeks. Along with the return of the choir (hurray!) and new settings for the Gloria (“Glory to God in the highest”), Sanctus (“Holy, holy, holy Lord”), and other service music, you might notice that the texts of some of our prayers have changed. If you’re curious to know where these are from or why we’re using them, read on!

Since the English Reformation in the 1540s, one of the hallmarks of Episcopalians and Anglicans has been our emphasis on “common prayer.” Walk into almost any Episcopal church in the country, and you’re likely to recognize nearly the entire service, and to find it on exactly the same pages of the Book of Common Prayer, our primary text for worship.

One of the big questions of the last fifty years in our tradition has been how to balance this emphasis on common worship with the desire for variety and freshness. It’s a fine line, after all, between “familiar” and “boring,” between “known by heart” and “recited by rote.”

Another big question of the last half-century has been how the language we use to address and talk about God in our worship shapes (and maybe distorts) our idea of who God is. Traditionally, Christian theology teaches that God is neither male nor female; these are human categories, not divine ones. But as you’ve probably noticed, our traditional liturgies refer to God almost exclusively using masculine terminology and imagery (he, Father, king, lord, etc.)

During the 1990s and early 2000s, the Episcopal Church published additional worship materials in a series called Enriching Our Worship, which essentially addressed both these issues at once. EOW provided alternative options for much of the liturgy, with an emphasis on “expansive language” for God, i.e., language that expanded our repertoire of terms and images beyond the traditional masculine ones. This ended up providing some really great alternatives for different parts of the service — where the BCP gives two post-communion prayers, EOW adds a third, and so on.

The Eucharistic prayer we’ve been using this summer comes from Enriching Our Worship. This fall, we’re switching back to good old Prayer A from the BCP, but we’ll be using the confession and post-communion prayer from EOW. Throughout the year we’ll likely use different options for other parts of the service as the seasons change.

I hope these new words bring out new facets of your relationship with God. If you love them, I’m so glad! If you hate them—don’t worry. They’ll rotate to something else again soon enough.

Note: These changes in the liturgy will begin on September 18, not this Sunday; I just have something else to write about for the newsletter next week!

Training Time

In the last few weeks several of you have told me you’ve seen me out running. While I’ve been a casual runner since college, this month I’ve started training for my first road race in almost twelve years. (I’m going for the title “Fastest Priest in Charlestown,” which I don’t think will be very hard to achieve.) Adding some more serious track workouts into my running schedule has reminded me that athletic training has long been one of the core metaphors for Christian spiritual life. “An ascetic” has come to mean someone with a particularly strict regimen of spiritual self-denial—a monk living on lentils and water in the middle of the desert, wearing a hair-shirt or something—but in fact the Greek word askesis means exercise, practice, or training. Ascesis is what athletes do. And ascesis is what people of faith do. We train our minds. We exercise our souls. We show up for our “spiritual practice”!

But my new workout schedule has also reminded me of something crucial to both kinds of exercise: finding the right setting to make it possible.

You see, for scheduling reasons I tend to go to the track for an interval workout twice a week: once right before I pick Murray up from school on Wednesdays, and once early on Saturday mornings, before we get going on our plans for the day. On Wednesdays, the track is empty. School is still in session; adults are at work or on errands or whatever they do on Wednesday afternoons. It’s just me, the sun, and an occasional baseball practice. I have the whole place to myself.

Saturdays are a different story. On Saturday mornings, the soccer field inside the track plays host to several dozen of Charlestown’s kindergarteners and first and second graders, who are just learning the sport, and to several dozen more of their parents and siblings, who spill out onto the track to chat, drink coffee, throw lacrosse balls, ride tricycles, and so on.

This is a terrifying thing. The average six-year-old does not exactly have much control over their soccer ball; the typical three-year-old tricyclist is not paying much attention to the traffic on the track. And while I’d never begrudge them use of the playing area—they, after all, have reserved the field for the morning and I’m intruding on their space to use the track—it’s rather alarming to see someone sitting cross-legged, reading a book, in lane one at the finish line when you’re trying to run 400s.

Suffice it to say that my Saturday workouts train a rather different set of skills from my Wednesday afternoons: careful attention in case I need to swerve to avoid a toddler, gracious patience as I remind myself I don’t own the track, intercessory prayer that the ten-year-olds throwing a lacrosse ball across the track (why not in the ample free space around them? I don’t know) don’t bean me.

For many of you, the life of prayer is something like this. Perhaps you are the audience for the book I once joked about writing when Murray was a baby and a toddler, which I’d call Praying One-Handed: Spiritual Life for the Overwhelmed Parent. Perhaps you’re like my friend and mentor Cathy, who used to say that she’d perfected the art of praying in parking lots while waiting to pick her kids up from something or other. Perhaps your distractions come from within: the internalized cacophony of fear and anxiety, grief and despair that has leapt from our TVs and our smartphones directly into our brains. Or perhaps, setting your intention to be just a bit more “spiritual” in 2022, you arrived at the track of prayer to find that things were quite busy and went away, finding that your spiritual training plan wasn’t going quite so well.

You might say that I should just change my schedule and find another time to run. Or you might say, to be perfectly honest, that dodging kids and balls and off-leash dogs is itself pretty good training for a road race in Charlestown. I don’t know which one of those is right; but I do know that training under less-than-ideal conditions has value, in spiritual exercise as much as in physical.

If we only ever pray while on retreat—if we only ever turn to God when our minds are calm, and our homes are quiet, and our to-do lists are done—we’ll only ever learn to see God in those tiny, rare, tranquil moments of our lives. To run alone on a track is a wonderful thing. But to run through the chaos of life, rejoicing in it nevertheless… that is truly divine.